Book now, Sayang
☆
Book now, Sayang ☆
Smoother than Pacific tides
🌴 PACIFICA'S MOST EXCLUSIVE MASSAGE PARLOUR 🌴
Where the waitlist is eternal… unless your name is Kristin.
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Membership: 1. Applicants: none.
If your name isn’t Kristin… keep walking.
The world’s most exclusive massage — by marriage only
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One masseur. One client. Zero availability.
No walk-ins — just wifely walk-overs.
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Because love is the ultimate loyalty program.
Powered by essential oils and unconditional devotion.
The spa where the towel drops… straight into the laundry basket.
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Exclusive. Elite.
Because when you marry the masseur — you get lifetime priority booking. 😏
Serving necks, backs, and matrimonial obligations since forever.
Step into Steve’s Serenity Spa — an intimate couples-only retreat (and by couples, we mean one couple).
Our sole masseur: Steve.
Our only VIP client: Kristin.
Everyone else? Sorry — fully booked until the end of time!
✨ Services include:
Back rubs powered by husbandly devotion
Aromatherapy featuring whatever candle Kristin didn't hide
Complimentary dad jokes with each session
Romantic ambience provided by the sound of waves …
Meet your masseur
Hubby Steve
Private. Personal. Permanently taken.